I woke up with the realisation I had forgotten to buy Saturday's Daily Telegraph. How do I get hold of one now? I want to read the motoring section. I jump into the car and pick it up from one of my clients I work for.
There, for the first time, is an article about me written by Erin Baker, the Daily Telegraph's motoring correspondent! I am so excited. I wish Kevin could see this. I hope he can. He would be so proud of what I am trying to do, I am sure.
I have a strong desire to keep Kevin's life going. He was such a great man, I do not want his work and his passion for motorcycles to stop for him or for myself. I feel I still have a connection with him by riding bikes. I can not have him back, but I am hoping to ease my pain by doing the things which we loved to do, such as riding motorcycles. I now know I do not have to say goodbye to that as well. I have to create my future myself now. I would like to do the things Kevin and I had planned, hoping it will help me to come to terms with losing Kevin and our future together.
All this is way out of my comfort zone. For years I have been very happy being pillion with Kevin, and had little desire to ride myself. Kevin was an excellent rider, full of confidence, without taking stupid risks. He knew his limitations and worked to improve himself. But, having lost my rider, I have to move forward on the seat of the bike and take control myself.